So I’ve realised, I actually have a complex, I am genuinely surprised when people actually remember me. It’s a common misconception amongst people who know me, that I am a socialite. Just because I know people doesn’t make me social. Believe it or not I am actually rather shy, okie after a drink or two I’m a little more talkative, but in general around new people, I lack the ability to make conversation unless it is started with me.
Saying that I was recently reminiscing a night many moons ago when I’d gone out for a birthday with some friends. I was driving so didn’t have a drop of alcohol. At the end of the night when the whole group of us piled into a Chinese restaurant in Soho at 4am, I don’t know if it was the heat, the lack of fluids or something in the food but I found myself on the floor, surrounded by familiar faces, having fainted only a few seconds earlier. To this day I still don’t know what happened to me.
The point of the story (and there really is one) is that the incident was bought up again quite recently when a good friend of mine (who was simply an acquaintance at the time) reminded me of it. My friend said that I seemed rather interesting and that the incident only made me more memorable. Apparently my friend always did wonder what exactly had happened but as we were not particularly close, the opportunity never came about to find out why it had happened. So again, I was remembered, not so much for who I was but for the incident that occurred that night.
Having just thought about it, maybe part of the problem is my impeccable ability to remember both names and faces. As wonderful as it sounds on many an occasion I have found myself having to bite my tongue and act as though I don’t remember someone, so as to stop myself looking stupid by going over the details of where we met, who had introduced us etc in the event of the person not remembering me. You never really know when someone’s going to remember you or not.
For example a guy I had always known of was introduced to me during a holiday a few years ago by a friend (I obviously knew who he was but upon introduction I greeted him as if we were only just meeting). During the same holiday I was at a wedding and the same guy came up to me and reintroduced himself telling me we were introduced by our mutual friend. (Sounds good so far, no problem there).
The issue arose when I got back home and saw the guy at a community event and rather than being greeted by friendly face, although I was definitely seen, there was no hello, or even acknowledgement of my presence. So rather than going over there and reintroducing myself, I left it.
Fast forward a few years, having not been reintroduced at any point and to my knowledge not really having had any conversations with the guy, we ended up at drinks organised by a mutual friend. On this occasion I saw him whilst scanning the room and skipped past making eye contact thinking there was no need as he wouldn’t remember me. However to my surprise later in the night he made the effort to come over to me, say hello in a very friendly manner and even commented that he had smiled at me before and that I hadn’t responded. Since that day whenever I’ve seen him out we’ll indulge in a little small talk.
On the other hand though I really do envy the people who make the effort to go over and make conversation without over thinking the situation. Part of my problem is that I do over think the situation, maybe if I left my inhibitions at home and simply fulfilled the
‘sociable’ prophecy that seems to surround me, I might actually find myself being far more sociable than I am and may give people more of a reason to remember me.
Just a little something to think about.
Miss Digressive xxx